Mirror! Mirror! On the wall…

Who is the fairest of them all?

Who is the finest of them all?

Who is the fittest of them all?

The questions we ask ourselves inwardly as we try and measure up to some imaginary standard created by some form of agreement by people. My concern is that in our attempt to compete and measure up, we might just lose ourselves and become like the Evil Queen. Unkind! I mean unkind to ourselves. Snow White wasn’t concerned with the same vain things as the Queen, in fact her humble and desperate circumstances led her to the 7 Dwarves. There was no comparing or judgement in this beautiful relationship – just acceptance.

On my journey through life, I have looked at myself in the mirror constantly. During my teenage years I felt like an outsider and struggled a lot with rejection. I was constantly called names and ridiculed. I thought that my mirror would have the answers or at least prove them wrong, but all it did was validate their remarks and make me feel worthless. As I became a young adult, these feelings of worthlessness intensified because of my total reliance on the reflection I saw, or should I say, “What I thought I saw”. Let us stop and think about a mirror. What is it? What is it for?

To answer the first question. A mirror is a surface which reflects a clear image – it is an object. To answer the second question – A mirror is there for us to check our appearance to ensure that we are presentable. Nobody wants to go out with their fly down or their skirt tucked in their underwear. Mirrors are also helpful for keeping ourselves and the public safe, so we have them on our cars, motorcycles, and bicycles. So yes, mirrors are useful and necessary!

Do they always give a clear image? I don’t think so! If you have ever been in a Hall of Mirrors at a Fair, you will know this. Some mirrors can make us look long, some can make us look wide, whilst some can make us look squiggly. How then can any of us rely on a mirror to tell us the truth?

The day I realised this truth was the day I took my power back from the mirror. I decided that rather than look at my image in the mirror, I would prefer to look at myself – into my eyes and soul. I wanted to see me! The phrase ‘Can you look yourself in the mirror?’ became important to me. Michael Jackson said it well in his song – “The Man/Woman in the Mirror”.

I wanted to be a ‘Me’ that I loved, liked, and respected! So I got to work.

There is a wonderful human being in all of us if we give him or her a chance. The more I have worked on the inner me, the more the outer me has evolved into an attractive and beautiful person. I am no longer reliant on, or afraid of my mirror.

If we focus more on asking how kind we are, how accommodating we are and how forgiving we are. We can look in our Mirrors and see the most beautiful reflection of all.